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Monday, June 1, 2015

When life is difficult...how do you cope?


Life is beautiful...
Life is cruel...
Life can be so incredibly hard...
...sometimes it feels as if one storm follows the next...
...sometimes I am convinced that it will break us.
I look at some of my friends struggling for life...struggling for survival...and I have no words...I feel so helpless...

I remember the incredibly hard time we had when we started the Mission in 1998.  We signed contracts with Tr*nsnet on behalf of the Ministry in our personal capacity.  That came around to haunt is in the following 5 years.  Whenever we were late in making payment for the rent of the building they would remind us.  "You signed in your personal capacity...we will sell everything you have if you don't pay."  So just in case you think that once you have been called into Ministry it will be plain sailing....sorry...there is no such thing.   It was hard...and in that 5 years we sold a lot of our personal assets to keep the Mission afloat.  It cost a price.  If I look at what the Lord has done at the Mission in the past 17 years I marvel...but I also know that the hardship had made a permanent mark on my life.  Fibromyalgia will always be my reminder.

The last thing we need to hear at times of difficulty is that we lack faith.  I remember when Wynand lost his vision after a brain bleed.  People were coming up to me and K and telling us:  "You have given your life to work for the Lord, why is this happening to you?"  Why shouldn't it happen to us?  Bad things happen to good people too.  If the situation wasn't difficult enough to break us...people sure as hell would manage to break us with their words. So much condemnation can be heaped on you.  I don't even want to think about the gossip when Kobus Jr got divorced shortly thereafter and Bianca went off the rails completely and ran away from home.  I shudder just thinking about it.

Some people have such a twisted idea of Christianity that they think that once you accept Christ in your life you will have it easy...and that is not what the Bible teaches.  In John 16:33 Jesus says: 
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”   Not to mention that nearly all the disciples lost their lives for their faith.  You just need to read history to hear what happened to Christians in the time of Nero...not a pretty sight.

How do I cope?

I make all the promises of the Lord mine.  I remember that He will not give me more than I can carry...and over the years He proved that I can carry a great deal.  I am reminded that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28)  If not in this life...then in life eternal.

...and then...
then I turn inward...
I cut off the people and the things that hurt me...
I zone out of the things I can't handle...
I go on autopilot...
...I hang onto Hope...
...and nothing can touch me...

Is it the right way to cope?
I have no idea.
I might be a bit broken...but I am breathing.

How do you cope?

25 comments:

  1. Beautiful post -- and you are so right, people are easy to judge -- but we have to be stronger than that :)

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  2. Beautiful! Life has been hard for our family the past few months but knowing that God is with us, leading the way, has been our strength. God Bless

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  3. Sorry you are going through a tough time Lynette. Hope things improve very soon. Life can be difficult. It has a way of throwing curve balls at us. :(

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    1. Hi Jennifer...I am actually not going through a difficult time right now. I have a friend who's husband have been diagnosed with cancer and I read her blog and daily struggle and it just makes me think of how each of us are different in the way we handle stressful situations.

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  4. I have been going through some difficult time at the club I volunteered my service to, I felt unjust and unfair, for what I have done for them, unkindness was returned, I felt hopeless in people, but I tried my best to stay on high ground and let them say and do what they wanted, it makes me angry inside so I spent a lot of time reading, playing with photoshop for quotes that would uplift my spirit and keep me going.

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  5. I retreat and try to remember to reach for The One who never lets go :)

    PS how can I pray for you?

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    1. He always gets us through and then we marvel that we were actually strong enough to endure...

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  6. You write so honestly and I wish I could sit across from you with our cuppa' and solve all of life's problems! Laugh and hug and all the stuff melts away... But what fairy tale is that from? I don't know how I cope.... One moment at a time sometimes.. Crying my eyes and heart out to God in hope when I open my eyes the bad stuff is gone. But although I know He could change things in the blink of His Eye, often He lets us go through the fire, just as he did not save daniel from going into,the,lions den, he did however shut the,mouths so Daniel was not consumed.. So I guess what we go through is meant to strengthen and add wisdom.. I heard once that at the place of a scar, that is the strongest part on your skin.. Where the skin has repaired itself, joined back together.. It is there that it is the strongest.. So perhaps those places that have felt the greatest wounds, do in fact become the strongest part of us?? Our hearts, our minds, our spirit.. Keep going my friend, we are not there yet! There is more to do yet! Lift your eyes to the Heavens.... Can you see Him? No? Well let's keep going... We are not there yet...xxxxxxx shalom shalom..

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    1. ...and then you study the letters to the churches in Revelation...and you realise that He is always with you...that He walks amongst the churches...and that we have to hold fast (cling to our faith in Him)...and we learn that you may not be saved out of your situation and that despite this you must remain IN HIM.

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  7. Oh my friend - I know the feeling so well. And yes, I think a lot of us retreat into ourselves. I will pray with you that this one too shall pass without breaking you. Let go and let God

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  8. One foot. Where is it? Oh, over THERE. Next foot. Dammit. I'm blind now.....can I FEEL it? Oh, yeah. That one's there now. Next foot. Same with each day, hour, minute. And then, somehow. For better or worse [richer or poorer, sickness or in health, LOL!!!!]. Somehow it don't seem so bad. How does THAT happen? Has to be a miracle.......Thank you Lord. I got through. We got through. You got me through. Whichever, whatever. Just thank you........

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    1. Yup...one breath at a time, one moment at a time, one day at a time...and sometimes it is all done on autopilot ;-)

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  9. I think when we think we are on autopilot is when God is guiding us! People judge because they cannot look at themselves and see what is wrong in themselves so they find it easier to point fingers at others and of course when you profess your love for God the devil helps them point bigger fingers!!!

    You are an inspiration to me my friend!!!!

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  10. Gorgeously written. Sending lots of hugs and good thoughts your way, my friend!

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  11. You have the right attitude, Lynette!
    I always try to take one day at a time in times of tough!
    It does pass, eventually! And we get stronger every time!

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  12. That is when I spend the most time in the Word and in prayer. Then just remembering to be thankful for all things. Thankful that He walks through it with me. Some times are very hard but clinging to Him is what gets me through.

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  13. Life is as difficult or as easy, as we allow it to be! When the focus is on how difficult it is, then life is difficult. When the focus is on easy...then life is easy! My coping mechanism has always been that tomorrow must be a better day if I just believe it will be and have faith and trust that it will be. It's all about where I choose to place my focus and what I choose to believe! To say that it is always easy to place my focus in that "better feeling place"...it's not...but slowly and surely...the tide seems to turn! xxxx

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  14. It's the way I cope too. No idea if it is right or wrong but it works for me!! I do my best for people to see & know the real me but at the end of the day - if they don't & they make the wrong judgements on me I just let it slide off me like water off a ducks back. We have a couple of mutual friends you & I, that I don't think know the type of person I am & have already made the completely wrong judgements about me but it's not my job to fix a crooked mind. All you can be is just keep being yourself & enjoy the love & attention you get in return from those who truly love you. Forget about the rest xx

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  15. So beautifully and honestly written. Thank you for sharing.

    I cope with life in writing, medication and love I think.

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  16. So beautifully and honestly written. Thank you for sharing.

    I cope with life in writing, medication and love I think.

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  17. So beautifully and honestly written. Thank you for sharing.

    I cope with life in writing, medication and love I think.

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  18. Hi! Thanks for stopping by my blog. I had a very busy time over the last few months, but now I can feel myself slowing down and relaxing, and several blog post ideas are percolating in my head.

    You are right, having faith does not make life easy. But life without faith would be so much harder!

    Some of my favorite ways to cope with stress are: getting outdoors (even if it's just a walk around the block), getting exercise (even if I just gently work out at home, which is actually what I do most of the time), staying connected to supportive people, spending time with my family, keeping to a schedule, and finding time to be creative. Of course, de-stressing methods will be different for everyone.

    Take care!

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  19. Oh Lynette. I have tears in my eyes as I type my note to you. How do I cope? I pray! I find it very comforting to know that God is there to listen. Yes, life is not easy at times and can be heartbreaking. But with friends like you, life is much easier!!! Thank you so much for sharing your inspiring post with all of us.

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  20. So inspirational and just what I needed to read and hear at this moment in my life, which is probably the toughest my life has been, but in these times of trouble, I find comfort in the knowledge that God loves us no matter what. xxx
    Hugs
    Desíre
    {Doing Life – my personal blog}

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  21. I retreat and pray!! And pray some more! But then I don't always cope and I stay awake and cry and cry but then I remember God is always there for me

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