Many years ago I stopped watching soap dramas. Quite honestly it was just too exhausting. I have come to the conclusion that sometimes my own life resembles a soapy. I seldom talk about the goings on at the Mission....and there are times when I believe we only need a big top covering the premises to have our very own circus ;-) There are moments where we shed tears in compassion and times that we laugh until we cry at the antics of some of the people in our care. When I get home, the last thing that I want to do is watch more drama on television.
Having three adult children, two children-in-law and six grandchildren also has its moments. I love my family to bits and lets face it the past few years have been full of real life drama. Every year I pray for a drama free year. I guess that is not meant to be.
Last week I found myself slap bang in the middle of a drama once again. I should have seen it coming...but as usual I had my head planted firmly in the sand.
My daughter has been engaged since November last year.
It all looked good.
He looked like the perfect son-in-law.
I should have sensed that something was wrong when I received an e-mail from our medical aid while we were in the Drakensberg. The e-mail was for approval for little Stefan to be circumcised. I forwarded the e-mail to B with a huge ? She had no idea what it was about and set about finding out what is going on. The fiance (who is possibly circumcised?) had decided that Stefan need to be done. He used our medical aid card, my hubby's ID details and set about obtaining authorization. To say that I was extremely angry doesn't begin to describe how I felt. I phoned him and told him that he was committing fraud, did not have Stefan's best interest at heart, had to cancel everything and that he would pay any expenses incurred.
Now most of you who know me also know that I need my "space".
I need quiet.
I need privacy.
Since the engagement I have had none of the above. He sleeps in our guest room every weekend and uses DH's car to get around over weekends.
I told B that they need to sort our the transport problem as they cannot continue using our vehicles. He needed to get his own car. Just then red flag number two popped up. He has been black listed for bad debt. OH.MY.WORD. He cannot account for what he bought to incur the debt. The word BIPOLAR was written all over this. I also told her that this every weekend sleepover wasn't working for me. If they needed to see each other every weekend, they should stay with his parents every second weekend.
On Friday B met his mom and it was confirmed. He is bipolar. He stopped taking his medication weeks ago and was becoming more and more erratic. He told his mother that he would commit suicide is B leaves him. He wanted to "kill" everybody in B's background. He couldn't sleep. He was always walking around with a long face. Three weeks ago his employer "retrenched" him and then last week employed him again....and he was even depressed about that. After meeting his mom B told me she isn't capable of raising another child (meaning the man). She felt that she can't trust him around her or Stefan, so on Friday evening she broke off the engagement.