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Thursday, November 7, 2013

Becoming vulnerable (my faith life)

I  have warned you in my title that this will not be a light post...so continue reading at your own risk.

Gosh...I am SO tired today.  We started with a LTS (leadership training school) at the Mission this week.  The training school runs for 5 weeks and the class is two hours each morning.  We are trusting the Lord for a breakthrough in the lives of the leaders at the Mission.  This first week all the lessons are about "Our relationship with God."  We have had wonderful teachings by well known speakers:  ie Myles Munroe's Fearfully and Wonderfully made, Louie Giglio's teaching on "How great is our God" and "Indescribable".  Floyd McClung's "Fatherheart of God".  It has been awesome and even this early in the course we see how the Lord is touching hearts.

Today was my turn to give a teaching.  My subject was "The work and the way of the cross" and "The importance of Forgiveness".  I got teachings by John Arnott and Bob Mumford to use as a base for the teaching.

By last night my teaching was polished.
True to the Word.
Clinical.
Impersonal.
Perfect.
It was Bob Mumford's teaching.

This morning at 5 'o clock I was wide awake.  I knew that the Lord woke me up.  So I prayed... and waited to hear His voice.    He told me that the teaching that I prepared was all good and well...but it wasn't what He wanted.  He doesn't want the Bob Mumford version of the teaching.  He wants MY version of the teaching.  He wants me to tell the people about my walk with Him. He wanted me to share the things that kept me back from growing in my walk.  He wanted me to tell them my testimony of learning the Father Heart of God and my dysfunctional walk with my natural father.  Really?    I was totally rattled.  There was no time to prepare.  Before the class began the facilitators got together and I told them what had happened and that I don't know what was going to happen when I give the teaching.  They prayed for me.  For the peace of God and for me to be an instrument through which He can work.   While we were singing a worship song I felt how my legs were shaking and I wanted to take off my shoes because I was really afraid that I would fall on my face.

Then I was sharing and the Lord just took over.  It was emotional.  It was right from my heart.  He gave me the courage to share my story without breaking down.  There was a lot of tears (snot en trane...but not from me).  I know that I heard correctly.  I just had to see the fruit of the message.  You see, when the people that are in our care look at us they think our lives have always been picture perfect.  That we have never known pain, hurt and brokenness.  That we don't REALLY understand what they have gone through. That we never had to forgive people who have hurt us terribly.  My story showed them that they are wrong, that we all deal with hurts, that we all have a journey.  When we become vulnerable and share from our heart it leads them to know that there is hope for them too.

I feel emotionally drained and I could sleep for two days.  I have forgotten how much energy it takes to make yourself vulnerable and just be real.

xoxo

18 comments:

  1. Ah my friend.
    THAT is the best kind of teaching. One that is real. One that is personal. One that moves.
    Thank you for NOT being disobedient.

    Love you.
    xx

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  2. It takes courage to be obedient like that, Lynette - specially at the last moment when you know you don't have time to prepare and have to launch out on your conviction that the Lord has instructed you.
    But oh the joy of seeing Him carry you through and seeing the fruit of your obedience!!
    Well done, my friend!

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  3. Good for you Lynette ... I know it is never easy to bear your soul ... xoxoxo

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  4. Fantastic! So glad you listened and acted!

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  5. Sounds amazing. It's so hard sometimes (well... most of the time) to become personal and vulnerable in a public speaking/small group context, especially when it's people that you work with. But we should all learn from you and just go for it, because the fruits are amazing. When God leads it means that He has a plan!

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  6. You have touched so many lives & although it was so hard its so good. Even just sharing now its very REAL. Thank you & may God just bless you so much.

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  7. You set such a great example for people Lynette and I have always admired your courage. Even more so now.
    For me it is difficult even to find the courage to talk in public at all, even without baring my soul. But really with courage like yours talking straight from the heart is always the best option. Well done my friend!!

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  8. I pray your story will continue to bear fruit for the Lord as people re-think what you have shared.. we are all broken in some way.. I pray God restores you will peaceful rest too to continue in your walk with Him...

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  9. You are such an inspiration ... I am so happy that you listened to the Lord and did what He wanted you to do. I am sure the people that you touched with your story will never be the same again!!!

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  10. Amazing post Lynette, I am happy for you!

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  11. Well done for listening & doing what the Lord wanted you to do. Indeed it is very exhausting!

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  12. I have tears in my eyes as I write this note. Yes, you never really know what someone else has gone through until you walk a mile in their shoes. Being vulnerable is not easy. You are amazing, my friend. Thanks for sharing this with all of us.

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  13. Isn't it amazing how sometimes the lesson we are meant to give, becomes the lesson for ourselves!! ;-) So great that you could share your story with others and allow yourself to be vulnerable!! Blessings to you Lynette!

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  14. Hearing from God is hard and listening is even harder..

    Sending you loads of hugs

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  15. What a blessing, Lynette, both to the lives touched by your transparency and for you to listen and follow after our Lord's voice. Prayers for those attending the classes. ~ Blessings, Tracey

    Garden of Grace

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  16. I am so glad to hear that you followed the Lord's leading. What a blessing!

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