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Friday, September 13, 2013

The need to become quiet


I have been thinking about this post all week.
Unsure of whether I should post it.
Not knowing if it is wise to be honest and thereby show vulnerability.
But here goes.......

I have been trying to figure out how it all started.  How does one get your heart and your head into such a mess?
  • Two months ago a man came to see K at the Mission. He wanted to become involved in our recycling job creation program. On meeting this man I just had strong feelings that we shouldn't go into an "alliance" with him.  
  • DH doesn't really go by "feelings" and discounted how strongly I feel about this "alliance."
  • I withdrew and didn't want anything to do with the "alliance" because I was just not comfortable with it.  I can't put my finger on it...it just went against my grain.
  • We stopped having our quiet time together in the mornings.
  • My man became impatient when I didn't "come round" to his way of thinking. He put it down to stubbornness.   (pout...pout)
  • Usually we discuss the matters of the day in the evening...cuddling up before we fall asleep.  This stopped  He would sleeps on his side of the bed and I would sleep on mine.
  • "Hy is nie meer my maatjie nie."  (now I sound like my grandchildren) I felt that in this whole crazy thing I lost my very best friend}
  • During this time my mom came for a three week visit.  Let's just say that my mom is not comfortable in silence and I get "noise" overload which makes me grumpy (hanging my head in shame)
  • Then"tit-for-tat" kicked in. (head hanging even lower in shame) and I was confronted with my spiteful nature.(I don't like me).
  • Usually my man gets angry, erupts and it is all over, but this time he sulked  (I love silence, but not this icy silence)
  • Both of us were unhappy and I was sad most of the time.
  • I lost my zeal to go to work.  The ministry that was always my delight became just a job that needed to be done.
  • I was so empty.  How could I possibly help this broken people in our care.
Last weekend it came to a head!
Harsh and cruel words.
Lots of tears and apologies.
We kissed and made up.

Later we realised that it all started really going wrong when we stopped having our quiet time together.  We always say that the Mission belongs to the Lord...but we stopped seeking Him in our decisions.  We needed to become quiet again.  We need His direction.  We need to be filled by His Spirit.  If we don't we would not stand when trouble comes. This whole drama was proof of that.  Don't judge me too harshly...okay.

Do you have quiet time?  
Do you notice a difference in the days where you didn't make the effort to spend quiet time with the Lord?

xoxo

24 comments:

  1. OMH yes! My day is totally disjointed and messy if I miss my QT in the morning.
    I'm sorry for the messy period you've been through.
    It stings like nothing on earth when we're 'estranged' from our lover and friend.
    But God is faithful to point out where we went wrong, and to restore us. No judging here.

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  2. Sorry that you had a tough week..but sometimes we need these things to allow us again to know what to focus on and what is important! Blessings to you and DH Lynette and wishing you a truly happy and blissful weekend! ;-)

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  3. I was sad to read this, but there are times when such happens, not only to make us realise certain things in our life (and our partners) but also, it more often than not aids in making a stronger connection with our 'other halves' .... and being on a track, that was always meant to 'be'.... hope that made sense! LOL

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    1. I get it. I was so miserable when things were out of tune.

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  4. Yes I have a quiet time.. and yes I notice it when I dont have one.. even what I listen to on the radio can have an effect, so I have christian songs on a cd in the car.. I firmly believe... what you feed will grow... so as we feed on the Lord we grow, when we don't we starve... take care..

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    1. I always have a worship CD in my car. At the moment it is 5th Avenue North...and I sing along at the top of my (off key) voice. I am sure the Lord hears it as perfect harmony ;-0

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  5. Thanks for sharing and not judging you at all, I admire you and your honesty.

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  6. So sorry that you had a rough patch :( I have my own quiet time.... I awake every morning at 3:10AM so I can have 'me' time and luckily Brian and I work together, so we have the ride to and from work together to have our time :)

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  7. I'm glad you got to the bottom of the problem and addressed it.
    I do have quiet time - and it throws my whole day off kilter if I don't get it when I usually have it.

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  8. I do notice a difference in the days when we don't have quiet time. I am glad that the two of you got to the bottom of your problem.

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  9. I am the LAST person to judge anything. Mainly because I've been terrible at getting in the Word myself.

    So glad you two are sorted :)

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  10. Thank you for sharing so openly with us ... Life is made up of the good and the not so good however most people only put up the good side and it hides what we really go through.

    I am sad that you went through this difficulty with your handsome man especially with the amazing ministry that the two of you have for the Lord.

    So happy that you have sorted it out!

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    1. I have always tried to keep my life into perfect little compartments...it just doesn't work for me.

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  11. Sad to hear that you are sad but glad that you got your quiet time back. I wish I know how to handle better in differences in marriage, I hate times when we fight so I learn to treasured even more when we are not!

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  12. Absolutely! I really try hard to have prayer time every morning. If I don't have time at home, I will turn off my radio in the car and pray on my way to work or travels. I feel out of sorts when I don't do this. I will keep you in my prayers, Lynette. You are one of the most caring and honest people I have met in "blog-land." Thank you for being you.

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  13. Absolutely! I really try hard to have prayer time every morning. If I don't have time at home, I will turn off my radio in the car and pray on my way to work or travels. I feel out of sorts when I don't do this. I will keep you in my prayers, Lynette. You are one of the most caring and honest people I have met in "blog-land." Thank you for being you.

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    1. Aww...now I have leaky seams...thank you for your sweet words.

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  14. So sorry for what you have gone through but glad to hear you have seemed to work it all out now. I most definitely understand that need for quiet time...we don't get a lot of it around here with the little ones, so it is most definitely cherished. I enjoy your honesty in this post, thanks for sharing.

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  15. Hi Lynette ... I could never judge you and it never even crossed my mind. I think there's a lot you've left unsaid, as I would have done too and those are things I'm most curious about, but I shall not pry as is my very curious nature.

    Something I was missing was my time alone on my drive to work - that's when I'd have my time with the Lord - I'm now doing it on the treadmill.

    I'm glad you guys have kissed and made up ... hugs and thanks for the comments on my blog, I really appreciate you.



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    1. Yes...there will always be a lot left unsaid...very careful of over sharing on the net...it might just come back and bite me in the butt.

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  16. Absolutely! I can definitely relate - I need quiet time in the morning too, just like you!

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  17. Thanks for your transparency and sharing your heart. I think we all go through this sometimes. So glad the Lord brought you back together!! ~ Blessings, Tracey

    Garden of Grace

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  18. Judge you, nope!!!

    Glad things are sorted, if you don't have these occasional bumps you won't be human but the important thing is you worked it out.

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    1. Each day I enjoy a quiet time. I am like you - I need peace - I can't do noise overload. I spend a lot of time thinking. To process things, so often have no music even. I hate it when people talk too much hahaha

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