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Monday, May 27, 2013

Drama.com

Many years ago I stopped watching soap dramas.  Quite honestly it was just too exhausting.  I have come to the conclusion that sometimes my own life resembles a soapy.  I seldom talk about the goings on at the Mission....and there are times when I believe we only need a big top covering the premises to have our very own circus ;-)  There are moments where we shed tears in compassion and times that we laugh until we cry at the antics of some of the people in our care.  When I get home, the last thing that I want to do is watch more drama on television. 

Having three adult children, two children-in-law and six grandchildren also has its moments.  I love my family to bits and lets face it the past few years have been full of real life drama.  Every year I pray for a drama free year.  I guess that is not meant to be.

Last week I found myself slap bang in the middle of a drama once again.  I should have seen it coming...but as usual I had my head planted firmly in the sand.  
My daughter has been engaged since November last year.  
It all looked good.  
He looked like the perfect son-in-law.  

I should have sensed that something was wrong when I received an e-mail from our medical aid while we were in the Drakensberg.  The e-mail was for approval for little Stefan to be circumcised.  I forwarded the e-mail to B with a huge ?  She had no idea what it was about and set about finding out what is going on.  The fiance (who is possibly circumcised?)  had decided that Stefan need to be done. He used our medical aid card, my hubby's ID details and set about obtaining authorization.  To say that I was extremely angry doesn't begin to describe how I felt.  I phoned him and told him that he was committing fraud, did not have Stefan's best interest at heart, had to cancel everything and that he would pay any expenses incurred.  

Now most of you who know me also know that I need my "space".  
I need quiet.  
I need privacy.  
Since the engagement I have had none of the above.  He sleeps in our guest room every weekend and uses DH's car to get around over weekends.  

I told B that they need to sort our the transport problem as they cannot continue using our vehicles.  He needed to get his own car.  Just then red flag number two popped up.  He has been black listed for bad debt.  OH.MY.WORD.  He cannot account for what he bought to incur the debt.  The word BIPOLAR was written all over this.  I also told her that this every weekend sleepover wasn't working for me.  If they needed to see each other every weekend, they should stay with his parents every second weekend.

On Friday B met his mom and it was confirmed.  He is bipolar.  He stopped taking his medication weeks ago and was becoming more and more erratic.  He told his mother that he would commit suicide is B leaves him.  He wanted to "kill" everybody in B's background.  He couldn't sleep.  He was always walking around with a long face. Three weeks ago his employer "retrenched" him and then last week employed him again....and he was even depressed about that.  After meeting his mom B told me she isn't capable of raising another child (meaning the man).  She felt that she can't trust him around her or Stefan, so on Friday evening she broke off the engagement.

to be continued....(in true soapy style)....

Leaving you on a happy note with a pic of me and my two littlest grandbabies.

xx

37 comments:

  1. So sorry you and B and the rest of the family are having to go through all of this ... hugs!!! Loving the sweet photo! :)

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  2. Oh, so sorry to hear about this. It is horrible when something you think is right turns out not to be. Well done to B for realising what is right for her and Stefan.
    Hugs to you.

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    1. As I said...he appeared to be the perfect son-in-law....a tad impulsive...but a very nice young man.

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  3. Awh my friend, drama indeed. Lots of love

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  4. Ai ai ai!

    At least your life isn't dull ;)

    Love you lots xx

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    1. A bit of dull wouldn't be bad :-P

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  5. oh no!!! I really hope that all the drama when it come to B is over and the happily ever after at long last arrived for her... well... then there will be still the REAL happily ever after for her - wasn't the right time I guess...

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    1. DH and I are praying for the right, Godly man to come into her life. Now we are trusting and believing.

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  6. Oh my HAT! How awful. I am so sorry. For what it's worth, she did the right thing. I hope she's OK.
    xx

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  7. Praying for safety and calm seas.

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    1. Thanks my friend...that would be most welcome :-D

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  8. oh man, drama indeed! I'm sorry to hear about it but better now than after the I do...

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  9. Lynette this is shocking but sad at the sane time. Thinking of you and your family.
    Hugs Desíre {Doing Life}

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  10. Glad you saw the red flags but sad that you have to go through this unnecessary drama.

    I am glad that B found out all of this before she married the boy ... that would have been even more difficult. I cannot believe that he went behind her back and tried to arrange for her son to be circumsized.

    Will keep you guys in my thoughts and prayers!

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    1. To be honest there were times that I was afraid that I would get home...and find that he had moved in ;-)

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  11. OMW I'm so sorry! But thank God things came out in the open now rather than later and that B was strong enough to make the right decision for her and her baby.

    Thanks for sharing the lovely picture of you and the babas!

    On a lighter note who needs make believe drama when there's enough real drama

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  12. Very sad .... I hope that will be the right decision.

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  13. I'm so sorry another sad thing has happened in your family. Good that you found out finally and hope things get better after this.

    Funny you bring up about soaps, I have been a fan of Days Of Our Lives since HS and finally stopped watching it years ago. Well, now what I do is watch it for 2 weeks when the kids go back to school and the 2 weeks before summer vacation. I can't watch much more then that but for that short time it brings me back to my high school years.

    I'd rather not have drama in my life either, a nice quiet peaceful life is what I like.

    How generous you have been to this man and your daughter too, such a big kind heart you have my friend.

    LOVE LOVE the layouts below!!
    HUGS AND PRAYERS!

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  14. Oh no! This sounds so hectic and I can't believe that the fiance which aren't a family member yet, did something like this. What was he thinking?

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    1. Marlene, I don't believe that he was thinking. He was purely driven by impulse.

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  15. Oh dear oh dear... I do hope he gets back on his meds as it sounds like he needs them, and I do pray that God puts a hedge of protection around your family for the next few months too.. Just as well it was found out now and not after they were married... xx

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  16. Oh Lynette, WOW!!! So sorry for all you are dealing with right now but hope it is what is best for your daughter and little Stefan! How scary it could have been!!! Big hugs to you and prayers!! xx

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  17. ((HUGS)) my extended family has drama like this all the time. It is the main reason I 'cut them off'. I have limited contact with them, created a seperate FB profile for them and stay as far away from their crap as I can.

    I hope you and your daughter find a way to work this all out peacefully and her ex gets the help he obviously needs!

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    1. Thank you Laura....please don't cut me off because of the drama in my life...haha!

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  18. Hi Lynette ... oh my goodness, how difficult this situation is. Bipolar is such a scary and often misunderstood illness. Why on earth did he stop taking his meds? I don't wish it on anyone. Your B sure is a strong young lady to call it off.
    Hope things calm down for you sweet lady.
    Hugs

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    1. Wendy we work with people like him and stopping their medication is a very typical thing they do.

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  19. Oh wow, how awful...what a terrible thing. I feel for all parties in this situation, it is just tough all around!! Take care! Adorable photo, too :)

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  20. Sorry to hear that Lynette, I just wish that things in your life could straighten out soon, you so need a peaceful and no drama life. Big hugs.....

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  21. Oh my! Dear Lynette, what a life! I am so glad your daughter is out of this relationship. Praise God for revealing the hidden in the darkness! Blessings and his protection to you and your family!

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  22. Oh this is too bad. Feel so bad for B. It is a sad situation for all. Sweet photo of you and the little fellows!

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  23. Drama all round for you ... hang in there. Thank goodness you all found out about this now and not after a wedding. Hope that you are all safe and he doesn't follow through with his threats.

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  24. HI sus,
    Wat 'n skok! My hart gaan uit na julle en veral na Bianca en Stefan. EK is so baie trots op jou meisiekind dat sy so volwasse besluit geneem het - dit kan nie maklik wees nie. Ek het twee mense geken wat getroud en verloof was aan mense met bipolar - en dit is nie iets wat ek sou wou op my neem nie. Hulle hou nooit op met die neiging om nou en dan op te hou om hulle medikasie te drink nie. Hulle geliefdes se lewens gaan deur periodes van absolute hel.
    Ek is bly sy het dit nou eerder besef as later. Bid vir haar en vir julle almal.

    Baie liefde,
    Herlien

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    1. Ek is ook baie trots op haar. Sy het 'n baie volwasse besluit geneem.

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  25. Sheesh! life has a funny - as in not haha - way of throwing in a curve ball, doesnt it??

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  26. Ugh, sorry to hear about all the drama. Yet it sounds like the breakup is for the best. Better than B. ending up with an erratic/unreliable husband and Stefan ending up with an erratic/unreliable dad. Hope that things start looking up.

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  27. Oh goodness how sad - I really thought the B tale had such a happy ending :( Perhaps if he is responsible about taking his medication he can lead a normal life & B can ensure that he does take it. It seems a pity to throw it all away as none of us are perfect. Tough choices to be made all round that's for sure!!

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