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Friday, January 20, 2012

The Final goodbye

I did this layout shortly after my parents 50th anniversary.  That is how I want to remember my dad...still so strong and often so difficult.  We didn't have a good relationship as I grew up.  My dad had a difficult childhood and suffered the most terrible rejection.  He never knew how to love and accept love.  Only after I grew in my relationship with the Lord I was able to forgive unconditionally and accept him just the way he was.  The past few years I wanted to cover him with love, so that he will know what love really is. He was successful in his career working on the sea as a Chief Engineer on a ship.  He left a legacy of a loving wife of 54 years, six successful children, 20 grandchildren and 4 great-grandchildren.

His past six weeks since he was diagnosed with lung cancer were difficult,  each breath was a struggle and he was permanently on oxygen. I am thankful that he still found the strength to travel to Port Elizabeth and be part of the family Christmas celebration.  It was sad to see how frustrated he became...he had such a brilliant mind, and he just could not cope with his declining body.

My dad passed away on Tuesday.  I am thankful that the hospital phoned and urged us to come quickly.  Seeing him struggle for his breath was so difficult that my mom just broke down and after consoling her I had to quickly leave the room just to draw myself together again. I am thankful for the few minutes I spent alone with him on Sunday holding his hand...when he told me he didn't want to go on, it wasn't worth while.  I am thankful that he knew we were there.  I am thankful for compassionate staff that gave him the right medication to ease his struggle.  He fell asleep shortly after we got there, went into a coma and passed away at 3:20 on Tuesday afternoon.

The family is gathering in Kidds Beach today.  Tonight we will have a feast to celebrate his life.  Tomorrow the memorial service will be in Kidds Beach, because this is what he wanted...this was the place that he had his happiest years.  We will all be dressed in bright clothes...because he always said that nobody must wear black at his funeral.

Just another reason to EMBRACE everything on this journey of life.

xx

34 comments:

  1. Such a precious tribute to your Dad. Thinking of you.

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  2. What a wonderful tribute to your dad my friend.

    I wish you lots of love today and tomorrow. May the funeral be bright and in rememberance of the strong and determined man he was.

    Lots of love xx

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  3. May your family be filled with all the happy memories of times with your dad. What blessing you were to him - to love him in spite of himself. Much love to you all.

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  4. What a beautiful and honest tribute my friend.

    Lots of love and strength for today and tomorrow and I love that he wants you to wear bright clothes.

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  5. you know Lynette... it is very sad moment but despite all the sadness of your loved one - your father - passing away you must remember how fortunate you are - in the way it all happened...
    love you! ♥

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  6. Leaky seams... Beautiful post. Lots of love and strongs for tomorrow, shed tears and smiles:-) xxx

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  7. Sending you love and prayers, Lynette....

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  8. oh Lynette, I'm so so sorry to hear of your dad's passing but very glad that you were there for you, and for your mom.

    I love that he wanted you all to wear bright colours - I've already told D that's what I want too!

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  9. Beautiful words, again, Lynette. Thank you for sharing. All the best for your 'celebrations'...you will be in my thoughts.

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  10. Beautiful tribute to your Dad... you and your family are in my prayers... so sorry for your loss Lynette.....

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  11. My condolences Lynette. My sister passed away on 22 December from cancer, she was just 50 years old, so I know how hard this time is for you and your family. Blessings to you. Alison

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  12. Im so sorry for this great loss to you and your family, Lynette. May God give you all strength to work through this pain.

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  13. Deepest condolences to you Lynette, and to the rest of your family. God bless. xxxx

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  14. sending lots of love...thinking of you and your family.xx

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  15. So sorry for your loss, Lynette. Thankfully he is now at peace. Thinking of you and your family.

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  16. My thoughts & prayers are with you Lynnette. Please take care.

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  17. What precious words dear friend!! We´re all thinking on you!!!
    HUGS!!!

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  18. Sending lots of love and hugs to you during this hard time - Time is a good healer and you will one day be able to remember your dad with a smile and the grief will ease and you will be able to talk amongt your sisters and with your mom about "remember when..." and laugh at some of the great memories, Keeping you and your mom and your sisters in my prayers, may God hold you in his hands...Lots of love

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  19. Lots of hugs to you and the whole family. I love how you are all CELEBRATING his life...that is a good send off and sounds like just what your Dad wanted. May you all remember the happy times with lots of smiles and laughter and also the sad times with a tear or two. God bless you all as you grieve.

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  20. Lynette my heart reaches out to you and your family with tears in my eyes!! What a lovely tribute!! Your Dad's send off sounds beautiful!! {{HUGS}}

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  21. I'm sorry for your loss Lynette and as Shayne said, this is a beautiful tribute.

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  22. I am so sorry for your grief Lynette. I love the idea of the bright colours!! A wonderful tribute layout :)

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  23. i love the idea of the bright colors.. in my place.. (east Malaysia-borneo) we christian never state a color for funeral such as i always watch on tv... i'm sorry for ur loss

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  24. Beautiful tribute. Much love to you and your family.
    How is your Mom doing?

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  25. It's wonderful to have a sending off for your dad in multi colors ! Do take care of you too during this time , hun !!!

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  26. A beautiful piece and great photograph to remember your dad by. I am so sorry for your loss. I can relate to your story even if my relationship was not like yours. My farther was a sailor and away a lot, but we always knew that he loved us.....
    I am keeping you and your family in my thoughts!!

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  27. Thank you for sharing your heart in this post. Even when you know that the end is near, it's never easy. My heart and prayers go out to you and your family.
    xoxo

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  28. Oh Lynette - what a beautiful tribute to your dad! Amazing how hard it is to lose a parent (I lost my Mom in March of 09) and be strong for the other one. I sure am thinking of you - prayers to you and your family! I love your layout!

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  29. I only see this now! Sorry to hear!
    Beautiful post!
    I am glad you got to spent some time with him!

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  30. This is beautifully written and so heartfelt. I'm glad you got to spend a little time with him at the end and he was surrounded by loved ones. Love that he wants bright colors and not those stuffy black ones, that would be my mom also. He was a lucky man to have so much family in his life.

    Take care and feel the prayers coming your way.

    hugs,
    Dawn

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  31. Oh Lynette, I am so sorry for you and your family's loss. Thinking of you all and sending cyber hugs,

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