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Thursday, June 16, 2011

The Innocents

One of the most frustrating and annoying things that confronts us in the ministry is our inability to really "help" children.  It is so easy to make the judgement that the adults have made their beds and now have to live with the consequences of their own choices...the sad thing is that their children have to also live with the consequences of their parents choices.  It is so darn sad:(   Shortly after we started working at the Mission, we were singing in church one day....part of the chorus goes like this.  "...suffering children are safe in Your arms...there is none like You...."....well I just cried when I thought how powerless children are when it comes to their parents choices.

A friend of mine, (R), has become involved with counseling some of the young under 30 ladies and she also  spends time with our 10 -15 year old girls.  One of these girls turned 12 last week.  She lives with her father who has  had an on-again-off-again drug addiction for the past 20 odd years.  Her mother doesn't want her and said as much when we phoned her last week. She alleges that the 12 year old is violent and she is "afraid" that she will kill her in her sleep.  Really!!!!!  I nearly burst out laughing (hysterically) at that!  All this young girl wants is to live in a REAL home and be part of a REAL family.  Something her mother can provide, but refuses.  She so desperately wants her MOMMY.

Last week she stormed into R's office.  She climbed on R's lap and sobbed.  Her dad has decided to move on.  She didn't want to go.  Didn't want to have to take responsibility for her dad again.(she has had to save him once before when he overdosed)  Didn't want to have to start a new school AGAIN.  We are talking about a very, very bright girl and although she only went to school for 6 months last year she got a 95 percent average.  Now she is uprooted again!

I get so angry with parents that don't put the needs of their children before their own.  I get angry when I realize that there is NOTHING we can do to help her.  Legally her father is her guardian.  I get angry when I realize that there is no resources out there that can bring sanity to this situation.  Should the Dept of Welfare decide to step in, there is nowhere for her to go.  There is no safe foster homes in South Africa.

I worry that she will be part of the next generation that will come for help to the Mission.  I worry that the cycle will just continue.

20 comments:

  1. This is just devastating! I have read this post and am overwhelmed with anger and despair. HOW MUCH MORE for you who work with these people day in and day out.

    I am so upset right now. :-(( I guess prayer is our only solace but why doesnt that feel like its enough??

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  2. so how do one save a nation with parents like that?? they are suppose to be her foundation and they took it from under her feet!! i feel for the girl and hope and pray that she will come out big and strong on the other side... thanks to people like you and your team lynette:)you can only do so much.xx

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  3. @Tania - Sadly, the past 13 years showed us that they very seldom grow up big and strong...they usually fall prey to some ass that thinks that s.e.x. is love and are usually pregnant by the age of 16:(
    ...and so the cycle continues.

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  4. Sorry that this poor child needs to go through this and how do mother's simply turn their children away like that. I pray that this father gets his head out the clouds and realises what he's doing. Sadly, as you said, the cycle usually keeps on keeping on and the mistaking of s.e.x. for love is such a common occurence.

    Hugs to you as always for doing what you do and making such an incredible difference in the world.

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  5. That is so sad! I wish I could just adopt her. I wish there's something we can do to stop the cycle.

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  6. First ot all, I love that worship song.

    And then, how sad for that little girl. This rejection is going to stay with her probably forever unless she does some good work...

    Very very sad but all we can do is pray and maybe give her your phone numbers to phone and talk to you if she needs a "mom"

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  7. I know exactly what you mean as I come from a similar upbringing! Life is what you make it & hopefully those kids will meet a wonderful man like I did & take responsibility for their own life & choices thereafter. It is not easy but it is possible.

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  8. This just totally breaks my heart.... I will be keeping her in my prayers! {{{hugs}}}

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  9. That must be terribly hard on you! I don't know if I would have been able to handle it!
    *Prayers*

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  10. Thank you to all of you for your kind words and the prayers would be most welcome. In the first three years we took two little girls home with us on separate occasions. They were placed with us by the courts and came from abusive backgrounds. After six months they were simply returned to their parents. That breaks your heart! I mentioned to DH that I would take her home and he reminded me of the previous times and the outcomes.

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  11. i thank the Lord for someone like you, with a servant heart. One with compassion and love for His people... Yes, will keep you and your ministry in my prayers =)

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  12. This is so sad - it makes me angry that there can be "no help" out there.
    You work is incredible but it must also be so draining/heartbreaking to let go.
    Prayers & hugs xxx

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  13. This makes me so sad. I have seen similar things and life can be so hard sometimes. These children should not suffer for what the parents do!..

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  14. Yes indeed it is painful to have to see kids go thru "living hell" put forth to them by their parents. I'm glad your Mission is there for them at least. Keep on keeping on & doing whatever good you humanly can for these little ones.

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  15. Oh Lynette....so so sad :(
    leaves me reeling and sad all at the same time... especially on fathers day.
    I pray that this bright, young girl CAN break out of this circle and make a new start with different values.
    Thank you for the work that you do x x

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  16. Lynette, how incredibly sad. How frustrating for you all. All we can do is pray he see a way back to you all.

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  17. oh my word, how incredibly frustrating it must be for you to know that there is nothing much more you can do for her.

    I often think of how my actions will affect my little one. Even the best meaning actions.

    Hopefully he will see that the best thing for his daughter is to stay with your mission.

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  18. Sjoe. No words. I felt incredibly sad reading this post. xx

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  19. My heart goes out to this sweet girl. My daughter will be 11 in September, I can not imagine her in a life without me. It's even harder to imagine a mother who would not want her daughter with her. So, so sad.
    I will keep this sweet 12 year old in my prayers.

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