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Friday, February 26, 2010

I've learned.....

...that time spent with those you love is priceless.

....that there is nothing sweeter than sleeping with your babies and feeling their breath on your cheek.
....that having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
.... that being kind is more important than being right.
....that sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
....that it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
....that a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
.... that when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.
....that happiness is not found in things.


All the pictures of my grandchildren, Lukas, Leane and Dewan were taken this past weekend.

xx

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Isn't it lovely.....

I have never been interested in card making.  I admire those that make cards and I love to see what they create.  When I make cards, it is usually done with not much thought and 30 minutes before I need to give it.  That is...until I saw this:
 
and fell instantly in love....

These cards are by the very talented Melissa Phillips and for sale through Scrappy Gourmet.  Obviously it would be all sold out.  Melissa was kind enough to send me the instructions to make them.  I could not find all the embellishments she used and my cards looks nowhere as gorgeous as hers...but give me a break okay...this is the first time I try my hands at such beautiful cards.

Card 1
 
Card 2
 
Card 3
 
Card 4
 Card 5
 Card 6
 Card 7
 Card 8
Card 9
Card 10

I think it is safe to say that the bug has bitten...and I am hoping to make some more gorgeous cards.
xx

Monday, February 22, 2010

Some news...at last!

 
Last night at 8 'o clock I received a phone call from the neurosurgeon.  Can you believe it...on a Sunday night...don't these people rest.
He told me that he looked at the angiogram and that the lesion is not pressing against any major nerves.  He admitted that their is some images that are difficult to interpret.  He has sent the angiogram to Professor Taylor at the Grootte Schuur hospital in Cape Town.  Okay...so I bet you know what I did next:)

I asked Mr Google who Professor Taylor is...and it appears that he "has considerable experience with the surgical and interventional management of cerebral aneurysms and arteriovenous malformations". ( Quoted from the UCT website). 

As soon as he has feedback he will phone me again.

xx

Saturday, February 20, 2010

...at the end of the week.

My grandchildren Leane and Dewan will be spending their weekend at our home with their daddy.  Lukas decided that he did not want to miss out on any of the action...so he slept over as well.  I must admit that I have forgotten how much a bunch of littlies can take out of you...and am a bit ratty because of broken sleep.  This morning Leane and Lukas was up early and got into bed with me and DH.  I fetched Dewan out of his cot so that his daddy can catch up on his sleep and made coffee for all of us.  Just looking at these little faces makes me forget about my lack of sleep:)

Here the two older ones don't want to look at the camera...obvious isn't it...just look how Lukas is trying to keep from laughing....and that shows his dimples to perfection.
They give so much joy and laughter.
*************************************************************
It never rains...it pours.....
My photo of the day for last Tuesday was the rain.  It was just all over too soon.

That is however not what I mean by "it never rains...it pours".  You all know how we have been waiting in anticipation for the neurosurgeon to phone with the results of Wynand's angiogram and what their plan of action is.  Yesterday I decided to phone to find out what was happening....just to be told by the doc's receptionist that they have received no angiogram for Wynand.  After further investigation we were told that the plates were given to Wynand when he was discharged.  I was stunned...all the stress of this week and for what?  I phoned Wynand and he told me that they gave him plates but he thought it was the MRI and CT scans, threw it in the back of his car and forgot about it. I collected it from him, took it to the doc's office...and here we are again.....WAITING!!!!  You would have imagined that somebody would have followed up regarding the missing reports...but no!  It is times like this that I realise we truly live in Africa.

I now choose to enter His rest ....
xx

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Tag...you're it!

I was tagged by Stefanie about a week ago. I am supposed to list 10 things that make me happy. I have done something similar a while ago and can be read here.

Forgive me for putting a little spin on this and changing it to:


How To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity   (thank you for making me laugh Herlien)
  • At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer at Passing Cars.   See If They Slow Down.  
  •   
  • Page Yourself Over The Intercom.   Don't Disguise Your Voice!
  • Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something,   ask If They Want Fries with that.
  •  Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks .  Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
  • In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Marijuana'
  •  Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.
  •  Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
  •  Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.
  •  Sing Along At The Opera.
  •  Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache..
  • When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won!   I Won!'
  • When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives!  They're Loose!'
  • Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'    
And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity
  • PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.
B. Try to do at least one of them today.   Not on your life.
C. Tag 10 bloggers that brighten your day. (If you have not yet been tagged... You're it!)
D. For those 10 bloggers who get the award, you then link back to my blog and create your own "makes you happy" list. (or any other list that brings joy to you or to those that read it).
Hope I succeeded in making you smile today.
xx

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

My heart is on my sleeve


Yesterday I was given some reading material by a "well-meaning" individual.  The title of the reading material is "The disastrous consequences of enabling" and is written by the "well-meaning" individual.  My first reaction was indignation.  This individual has no relationship with his children and never speaks of his grandchildren.  We have a total different perspectives of parenting and loving our families.  He believes that we are too involved with our children and that they should walk through their pain and hurts on their own.

So, I have done a bit of research and found the following:

Enabling Behavior - Loving Too Much

Enabling behavior is born out of our instinct for love. It's only natural to want to help someone we love, but when it comes to certain problems -- helping is like throwing a match on a pool of gas.

Definition of Enabling


In the true sense of the word, to enable is to supply with the means, knowledge, or opportunity to be or do something -- to make feasible or possible. In it's true form, then, Enabling behavior means something positive. It's our natural instinct to reach out and help someone we love when they are down or having problems. However, when we apply it to certain problems in living - addiction, chronic financial trouble, codependency, certain forms of chronic depression -- enabling behaviors have the reverse effect of what is intended.

I have peace...I love my children and grandchildren with all my heart, and that is natural.  I am not enabling them against things that they have brought on themselves.  I hurt when they hurt and I am a "fixer".  I want to shield my loved ones against the ugly and the sadness in life. 

Kobus Jr. moved into our home on Monday...the divorce is proceeding.  I see the heaviness and sadness surrounding him.On his way home he first stops at his house and baths his children, read them stories and put them to bed before he comes to our home.  He is vacant and quiet and I know that the stress of  loss he is experiencing is very similar to the stress people experience when they loose a loved one through death.  Fact is, he still loves his wife...

I watch Wynand.  He is such a tall, handsome young man.  On the outside he looks SO good! He is walking his way through the book of Job at the moment.  I see him struggling with his emotions,  now and then it all just becomes too much....

...everytime I remind myself:

...and so my dear friends...are you also enablers, and fixers?  How do you handle it when things are out of your control...when you can't  fix the problem?

xx

Monday, February 15, 2010

Just breathe....

This weekend was perfect just to recharge the batteries.  We are presently experiencing incredibly high temperatures and as you know we have a drought in the Eastern Cape...so I can literally see the lawn and plants at our house slowly being scorched to death.  Now and then we have the most wonderful cloud formations and it looks like just maybe, it could bring some relief...but it just does not happen.  At present we are restricted to 500 liters of water per household per day.
We are so privileged to have a pool to cool down in.
My oldest son Kobus Jr. with his two treasures, Dewan and Leane.
Oumie's princess.
Don't you think he is just too gorgeous?
On Saturday evening we had our annual Valentine's ball benefit.  I really was not in the mood, but our whole cell group supported us and it turned out to be a fun evening of lots of laughter and lots of dancing.  I love dancing....("lang-arm" if you please:)  I will post some pics of the ball soon.

Yesterday was another very hot day and we met Wynand, Nadia and Nadia's family at the beach for a picnic.
All very pleasant, until the usual breeze turned into a howling wind...but then that is Port Elizabeth for you.
Little Lukas loved the beach and took all the grown ups for a long walk.
...and now I  am ready to face this new week and all it holds.

"Commit to God whatever burden He has placed on you.  Don't just cast it aside, but put it over unto Him and place yourself there with it.  You will see that your burden is then lightened by the sense of companionship.  But you should never try to separate yourself from your burden". - O. Chambers.

xx

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Mamma Hen




This scripture was given to us by Pearl on 22 January and is one of the Scriptures that promises that God will uphold us.


Mamma hen and her chick:)
And his sense of humour is still intact:)

Friday, February 12, 2010

Still standing

I have been encouraged by many to sit down and write out all the scriptures that we have received since this season of our life started.  Above is a scripture I received this morning from one of our cell group members, with the instruction that we are to go and anoint Wynand with oil and pray the scriptures of God's promise over him.

A lady in our Bible study group gave me this scripture this morning:
Psalms 119:49-50 "Remember Your word to Your servant for You have given me hope.  My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life." Today the question in our study of Isaiah was: Who is governing your life?  

Despite my despair last night, I know that I have only the Lord to hang on to...He is the One who governs my life.  I am praying that He would be my Jehovah Shalom...the God of Peace...because I am so in need of peace at the moment.


Please forgive me that I have not been visiting your blogs...at present I am just not in a good place.  I am just so incredibly tired that everything seems to be a huge effort.  At the moment I can't face attending the valentine's ball tomorrow. ( Woolworths have organised this as a fundraiser for the Mission.)

xx

Thursday, February 11, 2010

See-saw...

...that is how my emotions are going...up-and-down and up-and-down.

I don't know how to start this blog post and I don't even know whether I should continue blogging about it. Flip....it is so darn depressing.

Wynand's angiogram went well and there were no complications.  We were hoping to see the neurosurgeon and hear good news.  Instead the radiology doctor came to check on Wynand's groin wound and then said that if it does not start bleeding when he starts moving around, he can go home by 7 o'clock tonight.  He said that the neurosurgeon needs to study the images of the angiogram because what they found were "complex" and "unusual" and "rare".  These are all words I  SO did not need to hear.

The images will be written on a CD and couriered to Cape Town tomorrow for a second opinion.  Guys, I am not even going to pretend....this is so scary.

Perfect peace


Wednesday, February 10, 2010

He is the All Sufficient One

Yesterday the radiology dept of the hospital contacted us and told us that Wynand's medical aid have declined to authorise the angiogram procedure that is to be done in hospital tomorrow.  I could not believe it, sjoe, it just feels as if it keeps coming and there is no "let up".  During the afternoon I phoned the medical aid asking for authorisation again.  At the time they told me that the matter is being investigated by their supervisor but that the MRI and CT scan procedures used up the available funds and there is no further cover.

DH and I prayed and then let our support system know that they need to pray into this matter and specifically for the favour of the Lord and His intervention in this matter.  We felt the Lord telling us to stand on His name.  He is our Provider, the Great Physician, the Everlasting Father, Almighty God, Prince of Peace and this morning my dear Allie added El Shaddai - the All Sufficient One.  He is the Strong Tower we are to run into and the Pillar we are to lean on.

Now all of you know how human nature works...??? 
This morning I started my day, ready to do battle....
I phoned the medical aid ready for a fight, they had me holding on for 10 minutes and then they came back on line and just gave the the authorisation no.  Just like that.... it was over.  The wind was out of my sails:)  Then I started jumping up and down and praising His Name. He is the All Sufficient One and Almighty God... nothing is too hard for Him to do.

xxx

The good old days:) ?

I am pretty sure that you are VERY happy not to be living in the "good old" daysBelly Laugh
xxx

Monday, February 8, 2010

Questions and answers


I am stealing Allie's version of the F2F challenge:

1. If I could fly off to a island holiday destination right now...I would

2. In my kitchen cupboard  are everything we need...topped it up this morning.

3. On my desk lies two half done scrapping layouts....very, very untidy.

4. Image in my head a beautiful peaceful beach.

5. In the middle of my to-do list My what?  I don't do that.

6. I am dreading nothing....I think everything that could happen, already did.

7. Right now I want my DH to get home from his golfing weekend. I don't do too well without him.

8. I think I will have to keep him from strangling our DD.

9. Going to  stay at home today and keep my mind and hands occupied with things I love doing.

xx

Sunday, February 7, 2010

When life gives you lemons

  • When life hands you lemons make lemonade.
  • When life hands you lemons add tequila. (Yuck!)
  • When life throws you lemons duck. (I'm trying...I'm trying:)
  • When God hands you lemons pray.(I am doing this one!!!!)
  • When life hands you lemons curl up and take a nap. (with the help of a "little white helper...:)
  • When life hands you lemons blog about it!  (I like this one:)
  • When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Then, find someone whose life has given them vodka, and have a party! (tempting...tempting)
  • When life hands you lemons hope for the best.
 
Well peoples...to keep you up to scratch this is what we walked through in this week:
  1. On Monday DS2 was diagnosed with a pretty dangerous condition.
  2. On Wednesday DS1 started divorce proceedings
  3. On Saturday DD did not return from a date for 24 hours....eeeeekkkk!
I would say that is quite a number of lemons.  Add to this the fact that DH and DS1 & 2 is currently away on a "long-ago-planned" golfing weekend...and you can gather the state of mind of this mother when her daughter did not come home.

One of our dear friends (attorney, cell group member, intercessor) and his wife was here, they drove me to the police station to complete a "missing persons report", they drove up and down the streets where DD was supposed to have gone, they caught me when I fell apart and just sobbed and sobbed, they brought me food and sat down to make sure I eat it, they brought me tablets to calm me, they prayed for me and held me, they looked in on me every few hours and phoned in-between to make sure I was okay.

...and then...in she walked at 7 o' clock as if nothing was amiss, trying to convince me I am the problem, I over reacted.  Not a word of apology...and boy, what an attitude.  Then I realised, she wants to upset me and  hurt me...and I was totally astounded. This girl, that I love SO much, who I shielded from the ugly things in life and always smoothed her way...and this is how she feels toward me. What she wanted was my swift anger and a blow-up, but I remained calm, took away her cell phone (I pay her contract and according to me it is there for my convenience not hers), cut off her internet and removed her computer from her room.  (It is not her right to have it, it is a privilege....one that she will have to earn from now on).  She will no longer receive pocket money, she will have to find herself someway to earn her own.  Up till now we fetched and carried her to and from college, many times at odd times that inconvenienced us....I am strongly considering getting her monthly bus tickets and letting her take responsibility for getting there herself. If she has no consideration and respect for me, she is going to find our the harsh realities of life.

What would you have done, my dear friends?  Any words of wisdom?

Friday, February 5, 2010

Frazzled

We saw the neurosurgeon this morning. The same doc that did my back surgery two years ago. He is a nice friendly man that inspires confidence and the eye specialist says that he is the best (possibly) in South Africa.  He looked at the MRI and CT scan results.  He explained in lay terms that this was indeed a congenital defect and took a  lot of care to make little drawings to explain what the AV fistula entails and all the possible reasons for Wynand's loss of vision.  The MRI and CT scan only shows the AV fistula and he needs to know more before he can decide on the best course of action.  Wynand will be taken up in hospital next week Thursday for an angiogram.  The angiogram should show whether it is the blood from the hemorrhage or the abnormal veins causing the pressure on his optic nerve. In the mean time he must refrain from things like smoking and getting too excited and he has to get enough rest.  So the waiting continues....

I must be totally honest and say that the stress of the past two weeks have left me totally exhausted.  I guess we all suffer from stress from time to time and we all react differently to it. In my case, the first thing that gets affected by stress is my sleeping patterns.  When I sleep as badly as I have the past week, fibromyalgia rears its ugly head.  Added to this, my stomach becomes a knot and just thinking of food makes me feel nauseous.  The past week has had it's highs and it's lows.  Times that my faith was way up high and I experienced a peace that surpasses all understanding  and times where it felt like my insides have turned to water.  Times that I stood solid on the Rock and times I was overcome. 

It has been a rough week and I would imagine that next week will be much of the same.

xx