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Saturday, June 19, 2010

When the bottom of your life falls out

I have kept this close to my heart now and decided to share this with you because I needed to get it out and also to make you aware of that which is going on around you....this is happening to us, in a house where we serve our Lord Jesus Christ and live our lives for Him and Him alone.

Two weeks ago today...it felt as if our lives were completely overturned...but that was two weeks ago.  Since then we have learned a pain that I cannot put into words.

Two weeks ago we found out that for the past 5 years our daughter, Bianca, lived a double life.  I ask myself:
  • How blind were we not to have seen this?
  • Where did we manage to mess up so badly?
  • Why did the Holy Spirit not expose this?
  • Why? Why? Why?
On that Saturday night we walked into our lounge and did not recognise our own daughter...it was her body, but I can't explain to you what her face looked like.  My initial thought was that she was drunk, but the young man with whom she had gone out were quick to point out that she had only two drinks.  Then my thought was that her drink might have been spiked and I resolved to buy a multi-test so that I could test her for drugs.

The next day our son told us that Bianca acted very strange and that at times it seemed as if some invisible force was pushing her around...at a stage she stormed out of the house with a pot of salt.  We sent Bianca on an errand and started searching her room for clues.  We found salt strewn on her windowsill and the entrance to her bedroom.  Our son googled this and found that the Wiccans use this for protection against demons.  We found some disturbing articles in her room and when she returned I confronted her with:  "It is time to tell the truth, are you into Wicca?"  Her answer was a simple YES!  Five years ago she and a few friends were bored and inquisitive and late at night while we were sleeping they got together in our garden with an ouija board and they called up spirits..things went horribly wrong when one of the girls freaked out and broke the circle.  After this she was pulled further and further into the dark side. When she broke down and cried she told us how scared she was and that the demons were trying to kill her.  She brought out a whole lot of jewelery, books and music cd's and we made a fire and burnt it. The next day she made an appointment for counseling and deliverance.

Her appointment was for Thursday the 17th June.  On Wednesday morning we woke up and when I passed her room I found it stripped of all her belongings. Even her bedding, extra bedding and ornaments were gone.  She had disappeared into the night and we still have no idea where she could be.  Wednesday and Thursday passed in a daze for me, and I have cried so many tears that just when I think there could not be any moisture left...I have another total meltdown.  I know that it was her decision to walk out the door, but that does not make it less painful for us who stayed behind.  My heart has broken into a million little pieces and I have no way of putting it together again.

In the next few days I will tell you more. For now I am holding onto this promise of the Lord:

Isa 54:11  "O afflicted one, storm-tossed, and not comforted, Behold, I will set your stones in antimony, And your foundations I will lay in sapphires.
Isa 54:12  "Moreover, I will make your battlements of rubies, And your gates of crystal, And your entire wall of precious stones.
Isa 54:13  "All your sons will be taught of the LORD; And the well-being of your sons will be great.
Isa 54:14  "In righteousness you will be established; You will be far from oppression, for you will not fear; And from terror, for it will not come near you.


In know that the Lord is El Roi - the God that sees - He can see her where she is right now.  Please pray that no harm will come to her and that somehow the Lord will open her eyes and ears and that she will come home.

36 comments:

  1. Oh my goodness, I m not sure I know what to say, except that I will pray and have faith that you will find her and that she can find the Light again. It is a scary thing to be caught up in things like this, and all to real, that I fervently hope that she is strong enough to come home to safety.
    sending you much love, strength and prayers to.
    xxx

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  2. OMG, Lynette, I feel for you. I cant Imagine the pain you and all your family are going through.
    Some times when you young you dont see the dangers. And you think nothing is gonna happened to you.

    I Will be praying for Her safety and healing. Have you talk to a priest? Obviously she wanted to end because she was protecting her self. She needs help. Hopefully you can find her at some friends house.

    I will be Praying for her and all of you, so you guys be strong because you need to find her and help her!

    GOD BLESS.
    A Big Hug.

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  3. Lynette ,

    Praying this prayer for you :

    A Prayer for Spiritual Warfare

    Heavenly Father,

    We know from the work of Jesus Christ that Satan and his minions are a defeated enemy. We also know from Your Word that the enemy continues to roam the earth and attack us. LORD, We ask for Your help in putting on the armor--the helmet of salvation, the breastplate of righteousness, the shield of faith, the shoes of the gospel of peace, the belt of truth, and the sword of the Spirit (Your Word)--in order to resist the enemy so he will flee.

    By the authority of Jesus and in the power of His shed blood, I ask You to summon warrior angels to fight on Lynette's behalf if necessary. We ask You to guide Lynette and protect her as she strives to pray and to live within Your will.

    Grant us the patience, Father, to know that deliverance from the enemy isn't always immediate. Grant us a resolute spirit so that we are persistent in our prayer and steadfast in our resistance. And grant Lynette the wisdom to remain alert, especially when it seems as if the enemy has moved on and ended his attack on her family.

    We praise You, Jesus, for Your victory over the enemy, for his complete defeat, and We claim that victory for ourself as we abide in You.

    In You Holy Name we pray, Jesus,

    Amen

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  4. My dear and caring friend
    My heart goes out to you as a mother.
    Thank you for sharing this with us, I wish I was as brave as you when it comes to sharing things ~ I will keep you in my prayers and will pray that your daughter finds peace but in the side of the light.
    Big cyber hug.

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  5. Lynette, you are not alone. My sister has a 21 year old daughter who is on the path of total destruction. Her addiction? Drugs and bad choices. She has been in jail twice and has torn my sister and her family apart. My sisters husband is an alcoholic who is on the road to recovery, and last week my sister found out her eldest, son, was in jail on drug related charges... My sisters salvation??? Church, God, faith, trust...She is broken. But she continues to fight. She asked the same questions you did.
    * How blind were we not to have seen this?
    * Where did we manage to mess up so badly?
    * Why did the Holy Spirit not expose this?
    * Why? Why? Why?
    She doesnt know, and she doesnt know how to fix it. But she prays, and she trusts in HIM to guide the LOST to salvation.
    I look at my life, not perfect in the least, but thank God every chance I get, that my children or husband have never swayed...They always stayed the course and made me proud, That the difficulties we as a family had in our lives, weren't really difficult at all, so to hear about the pain, you and my sister are going through is very hard for me to imagine...But I feel it because it hurts me too. And the worse feeling is being powerless. Losing all control. But I believe your trust in the Lord is what you have that will help you through these dark days. I pray that Bianca see's the light, and that light guides her out of her darkness. Know that you are not alone. We will be here to help you pray. Please take care of yourself. When Bianca comes home, she will need your strength. I am so sorry to hear of your sorrow. I pray for you and your family as well...

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  6. Lynette words fail me but remember what I posted on my blog the other day that made me think of you. :)

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  7. Lynette, I just don't know what to say... I is such a big pain... I just ask our Heavenly Father to give your family strenth to go through it and I ask Him about His super-natural protection on Bianca where she is... we will pray about this... Lynette our hearts are crying together with you...

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  8. Oh Lynette - how your heart must ache! I have no words of wisdom for you, just know that we are all praying for you and Bianca.
    Use your faith to carry you through this most difficuilt time... and cling onto the hope that a daughter is yours forever. She will come back. Safe.
    Big hugs my friend. If their is ANYTHING we can do, please let us know.
    Kirsty x-x

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  9. Oh my Lynette, I'm so sorry for what you're going thru. I'll be praying for you, your daughter and family. Hugs!

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  10. Lynette,
    I am at a loss for words, I am truly sorry for what is happening with your daughter. I am praying for you both.....(Hug)

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  11. Lynette-My heart aches for you and your family. I pray that your daughter be safe and get through this safely. I know that you have given her a good foundation and it sounds like she wants to fight these demons. Hugs and prayers. amy

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  12. I have no words my friends!!!!!

    Ek tree in vir jou vriendin en al wat ek kan doen is bid.. Het vir my gebedsgroep genoem en daar is 'n uitgebreide gebedskring wat intree vir Bianca en jul hele gesin!!!

    Drukke en liefde
    Charmaine

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  13. O Lynette, ek het nie woorde nie. Weet net ek bid vir jou en vir Bianca. Die Vader laat nooit Sy kinders los nie. Hy sal ook nie vir Bianca los nie, so waar sy ook al is, Hy is daar.
    Sterkte vriendin.

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  14. It is so encouraging to know that Bianca wants to get out, isn't it?

    That is the very first thing: and she is already there.
    We will pray that she will persevere with that desire.

    I believe that if that is her desire, God will make a way for her to get home and get free.

    You have a small army of believers standing with you in this Lynette, trusting God for the best for her, for you all, and for His Kingdom.

    He loves her more than anyone else could.
    Maybe this is the way she is going to discover that for herself?

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  15. OMG Lynette, I am so sorry to hear that, the only thing that comes to my mind is that the devil is really angry with all of you for the big work you and your family are doing and when someone leaves an open door to let him get in he is going to start doing his work which is steal, kill and destroy . I am so sorry that you have to go through all this pain Lynette, I will keep you your daughter and all your familly in my prayers, thank you so much for opening your heart to me too, I send you a big hug and many blessing my dear friend, best wishes , let God bring peace into your heart.
    Love
    Lidia

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  16. I've been reading and re-reading your post since I saw it the first time, and not leaving a comment, because, well frankly, I don't have the words. They keep sounding hollow.

    But I can offer some logic. Stripping her room of all her belongings in the middle of the night was not a one person job. Some of her friends have *got* to be in on this. I am positive that you will find her soon enough. But, it sounds as though she has been good at keeping to herself for awhile, so she may not want to be found at first.

    How did she react when you burnt the stuff? Was she a willing participant?

    It seems contrite to wish you good luck, but I can say that as a mother, I can only guess at your pain over this. *strength*

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  17. My heart goes out to you & we will continue to pray for your health,strength & faith in everything.Praying for Bianca & her healing & coming home. You & your family are living for the Lord & you are under attack because you are doing such good work for the Lord. Remember the Lord can & will do everything and our prayers are being heard. As a mother my heart just goes out to you but believe & walk in faith - Bianca will be back as a whole person to you & your family. Hugs & prayers.

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  18. Lynette,
    I feel your sorrow, worry and pain. I will continue to pray for your family and know that God can see both you and Bianca through this. He will find a crack in the darkness for her to get light from. I have never known a situation where there wasn't a crack he keeps open.

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  19. Lynette, I read your post early today, but couldn't find the words to comment. I've said a prayer for you.

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  20. Ek sal aanhou bid vir Bianca - so lank sy altyd weet dat die deur oop is vir haar om terug te kom en dat julle haar lief het is daar altyd hoop.

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  21. Since reading your post, you and your family have been in my thoughts all the time. Keep holding on to God's promise, and we will keep on praying for you.

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  22. Lynette ,

    You & your entire precious family are very much in my thoughts & heart today , as we continue to pray regarding this situation .

    The LORD your God is with you,

    He is mighty to save.

    He will take great delight in you,

    He will quiet you with his love,

    He will rejoice over you with singing."

    Zephaniah 3:17

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  23. Dear Lynette, just really no words to express... Thank you very much for sharing, will pray for you. Really you've made alot against kingdom of darkness that devil is so angry... but Jusus has already got the victory! I pray now that Holy Spirit protects Bianca where she is now and whispers gently but powerfully into her heart! I pray that God send His Angels to be with her, to protect her and take her out of the darkness! I pray her eyes are opened and she starts praying and calling the Lord! I pray that Blood of Jesus coverd Bianca and work strongly against any demonic power in her life! I pray for you to be strong in this situation, I pray against any feelling of guilt in your heart! Please know that you are not along in this fight! Lots of love and hugs, Svitlana XXX

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  24. Lynette-
    I am so sorry to read this. You have been going through so much. I am praying for Bianca and your family. Stay strong.
    Kim

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  25. Hi Lynette, sorry I never commented on your post about going private. I was on my phone & couldn't comment, but see you have sent me an invitation anywayt, which is great as that's what I would have requested of course ;-D SO sorry to hear this. Not what I was expecting at all. Such a sad story but thank goodness the Lord is in your house & he can overcome anything. I think you need to mobilize your church & mission to search high & low for Bianca. Kids don't think straight about the things they do sometimes & not being mothers themselves have no idea how much we worry about them. With a prayer chain going that is bound to reign her in & back to you {and Him} X0X0

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  26. Like so many others, words fail me. I cannot FATHOM how this can be happening. I can only imagine your utter despair and anxiety.

    Oh, how our children have the ability to break our hearts. You have poured out your life for her and it will not be in vain.

    I pray His protection over her, that in this time of wrestling that His Light in her will get stronger every day until she is able to find her way home to you where you, her family, can continue to help her out of darkness.

    I so wish there was more we could do. :-(

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  27. I also read and yet didn't know what to say. But I believe that she will realise that the path she is following is not the right one, with some time. I just wish that there was more that I could do - i feel useless so far away.

    YOu have all been in my prayers and I will continue.

    Much love my friend.

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  29. Lynette I have something on my heart that I want to share with you - I would prefer to talk rather. so if you are up to it here is my numbers - 015 2988811 and cell 0741162729. I will be free to talk this week any day but after 18-00. Or if you want me to call you rather, you can sms me your number. you are in my heart and in my thoughts

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  30. Where do I start? What do I say? You have been through so much this year, I can only imagine how deverstated you are. I wish I could produce the right words to make everything alright again. The greatest thing you have in your life is your FAITH. I pray that it will lead you to calm waters. You are in my thoughts and heart and I will say a pray for you and your family.

    Love, Irene xx

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  31. Oh my friend, I have very little words apart from offering my prayers. You know, when you hinted that something went wrong, I just somehow knew it was Bianca. The devil hides things from us and that fact that you did not notice should not be what you focus on now. We all just do our very best as parents - none of us are perfect.

    God's love and light to you my friend. When you look at those crosses, know I am keeping you and your loved ones in my prayers.

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  32. Oh Lynette, I'm so sad to hear this but I know that God won't allow something like this to happen if he doesn't have any reason or purpose. I think we just need to keep trusting and believing in him and keep praying that wherever she is right now, God will take care of her and lead her back home safe.

    I will lift you up in my prayers. ((hugs))

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  33. Gosh, really have no other words other than to say I will say a little prayer for you, the family and of course Bianca.

    The poor girl must be very frightened, as are you, and she must have known what she was getting into was dangerous or she wouldn't have been so careful to keep it from you. With such a loving, faithful family as she has, she already has the first rung on the ladder to healing conquered. Sending love and hugs from the UK. Xxx

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  34. Lynette--I'm without words. I cannot even begin to imagine the painful hurt you and your family are dealing with. I pray for you to find some peace and for Bianca to be safe.

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  35. Dearest Lynette, thank you for trusting me and inviting me into your private life - I believe that God will show you the way through this and will hold your daughter in his hands until she is safely back with you.

    My heart is totally broken knowing that it is a mother's greatest fear that some force greater than her can come into and influence their children's lives, and to know that this has happened to you - know that the sisterhood of mother's is pulling for you right now and prayers are going up for you and the rest of your family.

    Please God keep Bianca safe and ease the pain Lynette and her family are in, help them know without doubt that you will return their child to them and that the bonds will recover stronger and fuller than ever.

    xxx
    A

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  36. I of course dont have anything to say.... I am rendered speechless but I am with Allie, Rainbow and Mel of this. Lots of love Lynette and we are all here - anytime. xxx

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