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Monday, November 30, 2009

Sarcasm? No way...I would just call it witty


Do you find quick witty answers amusing?  OK...OK...I admit I love them...and I usually love the people that come up with them at the drop of a hat.  Here is a few choice ones:
  1. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
  2. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.
  3. Don't try to get on my good side - I don't have one.
  4. Good morning, let the stress begin.
  5. He isn't on his way anywhere, hasn't been for years.
  6. I can only please one person a day, and this is not your day.
  7. I don't repeat gossip, so listen closely the first time!
  8. I love to give homemade gifts...ummm, which one of the kids would you like?
  9. You can agree with me or you can be wrong!
  10. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
  11. I only have one nerve left, and you're getting on it!
  12. If you expect breakfast in bed, go sleep in the kitchen.
  13. Organized people are just too lazy to look for things.
  14. Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go. - Oscar Wilde
  15. Some people are so narrow minded their ears rub together.
  16. The man who can smile when things go wrong, probably thought of someone to blame.
  17. The trouble with women is that they get all excited about nothing en then marry him.
  18. Was your head with you all day today. - Bill Cosby
  19. So...who died and made you queen?
  20. I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying and driving too fast.  Are they kidding? That is my idea of a perfect day.
  21. I pretend to work and they pretend to pay me.
  22. Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
  23. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
  24. What part of NO don't you understand...the N or the O?
  25. You are sounding reasonable...time to up my medication.

    Soooo...what do you think?  Do you have a few you want to add to this list?

    14 comments:

    1. Sadly none to add - wittiness is not one of my fore's. I always come up with the witty response hours later!

      Loved the list tho - especially this one: I can only please one person a day, and this is not your day.

      Happy Monday my friend!

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    2. This was so clever... thanks. I really liked the breakfast in the kitchen one!

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    4. I love saying "he's a few clowns short of a circus" or carrots short of a bunch etc.
      So many good ones: 6,7,8,11,13,14,20,22,25.
      Great post, thanks!
      Jokes are such a great start to a Monday morning.

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    5. Thanks for the laugh! I could use some of those right about now.

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    6. Lynette, loved your list!!
      #6, #7, #12, #15, #24 !!!!!!
      Thanks, you made me smile.
      lots of love,
      hugs hugs

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    7. Lynette, BTW i love to watch that...doctor.. i don't really remember right now.
      Do you?

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    8. 13 is ME alright! and 24 especially for some teenagers, hey?
      they dont get the word "NO" at all!!

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    9. while I am absolutely not known for wittiness , I definitely use no 24 ard here a lot !!! lol

      looks like we're all ready to welcome the Christmas festive season in blogland ! love your new blog header & profile pic, Lynette ! ;)

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    10. Ooooh had a good chuckle there Lynbette - I consider myself very witty but find that it often gets lost or misinterpreted in the blogging medium!

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