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Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Blah!

I have been in a very contemplative mood these last few days. Maybe just a tad frustrated. You know how much I adore my family...that is something I NEVER want to lose. When my sons married, I welcomed my new daughters into our family...and that is what I always wanted, not DIL's, I wanted daughters that feel as comfortable and welcome as my own children. I never treat them different from my own.

I am not getting it right and that makes me sad. My one DIL is like a child in my house, always loving and warm and she even calls me "mammie". The other never wants to visit and when she does it is always unpleasant and her moaning and constant bickering with my son just breaks my heart. I see how he is slowly changing....just to try and keep the peace...and I worry about him. This weekend there was a confrontation and it was not pretty. I ask the Lord daily to give me an abundant love for her so that I can just cover her in it...but she is like a little hedgehog...you just can't get close to her. Never wrong and always wants to win. I can't imagine what happened in her life to make her so hard, cold and self-centered. So hard to love. My prayer is that somehow I could bridge this hard exterior to get to the heart.

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Enough of that!
This week was time for Sketch 48 at Little Shop of Sketches.
Here is my take on the sketch. Lukas at the beach. I used the Fancy Pants Summer Soire line.

xxx

19 comments:

  1. "...abundant love for her so that I can just cover her in it...but she is like a little hedgehog...you just can't get close to her. Never wrong and always wants to win. I can't imagine what happened in her life to make her so hard, cold and self-centered. So hard to love...."

    Its sad and hurtful that she doesn't respond to your reaching out.

    She is blessed to have you for a MIL. xxx

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  2. She has had to put up those prickles to defend herself because they are defense mechanisms in order to survive. God has to do a healing work (ask me I have experience) continue what you're doing, that's all you have.

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  3. Indeed she is very lucky to have such a wise & insightful MIL , Lynette !
    alas I have the opposite problem !
    Praying can't be wrong at all !

    Your take on the sketch this week is just sooo adorable & really captures the feel of the pic so well !

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  4. Strongs to you my friend. I cannot imagine how hard it must be for you especially to see your son in this position. Ai.

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  5. I don't know you(or her) at all....but I'd like to try to see it from a different perspective, to see if it helps...
    Insecurity? perhaps she feels she can't match the love you display, and this could make her feel not good enough for your son. Perhaps this causes a vicious cycle of her envy making her feel and act even less than....resulting in her hubby enjoying your company more and more over hers....perhaps he is finding it difficult to leave and cleave at the moment.......
    Sorry; just in case these are things you never thought of.PS. if any of this were true, it wouldn't make you WRONG.
    (forgive me if I've overstepped my bounds)

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  6. Hey Carol - we have a wonderful relationship with my son...but he is far to loyal to her to ever prefer to spend time with us over time with her.

    She is jealous though...we can't invite both sons over at the same time as she can't stand my other DIL...because she is so warm and loving.

    We don't expect her to be the same...just to give us a chance to love her.

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  7. So sorry to hear that and what you are going through. My brother married one of these types of girls...where he changed to suit her. Her and my Mom always hard a tough time...

    Now, they are busy getting a divorce and there are 2 little boys stuck in the middle, it is very sad.

    I wish I could give you some answers, but don't have any myself. Just keep praying is all I can say.

    But on a happier note, I so love your LO...super cute!!!

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  8. Hi Lynette. I truly hope that your prayers are answered soon and that you will be another daughter richer soon.

    Love your take on this sketch. Such a fun and happy creation.

    Hugs
    Desire

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  9. I really believe the power of prayer will make a difference & what a lovely take you have of welcoming a daughter instead of a DIL. I would also say that she must be deeply insecure and your open loving relationship might be threatening.
    The l/o is lovely & so sunny & light.

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  10. The situation is not an easy one for you. From my point of view I have the opposite... me trying to integrate myself in hubby's family and feeling unaccepted... neither situation (yours or mine) is great. The only solution... which you are already doing... is prayer. Keep at it and I will too... something good will come out of it all (for me... the family moved to Canada so I don't have to deal with them constantly!)

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  11. Sometimes we try everything we know; our hearts are open and so are our arms
    But nothing seems to work.
    Its so saddening.

    Suggestion:
    The Lord knows exactly what it is that triggers this irrational behaviour -
    Try asking Him to give you the "key". . .
    Sometimes the key is something so left of field that mere man would never have made the connection

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  12. Thank you for all your suggestions.

    Allie - I am praying about the key,and that I would be sensitive to His leading in this sensitive issue. I sent her a text this morning just to say I love her and I will be there if she ever needs me. No answer yet.

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  13. Hang in there Lynette, I am sure it will work out with time. You did a wonderful take on the the sketch! An adorable lo for an even cuter pic! I love the water droplets.

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  14. Oh I just LOVE theat LO! Summer Soiree is one of my fav lines ever! That picture of Lukas is just perfect with the papers too!! I am so sorry to hear about your daughter, I can only imagine how difficult that is.

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  15. Love how you interpreted the sketch! The products you used go so well with the photo.

    I hope you can find a way to help your DIL enjoy her time with you. It has taken over a decade for me and my MIL to finally figure out our relationship. Keep praying, it works.

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  16. I think maybe you need to continue praying, but take a step back. She is prickly because she is in the wrong (as stef says). Just let her be for know. You're going to drive yourself crazy trying to figure it out.

    and if she's reading this then she knows what you're going to do and is then going to react just to annoy you.

    xxxx

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  17. First up - love the new blog look & header! Secondly - I blogged last night & this post did NOT show up on your blog then - very weird because I checked on you AFTER the time of posting...7.39 p.m - I was on LATE...so sorry to have missed it then but I am here now!!! LOVE the photo - just too HAPPY! As for family...I would love a mum-in-law like you...it is what I have always wanted but I have TWO prickly MILS {due to a divorce...} & I just can't get it right either...don't know what to suggest...have been trying to work it out myself for 25 years now ;-D Just hope for you that you can overcome through prayer...

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  18. I had a similar experience with my ex husbands family but I was the prickly one or something like that. The other sil was the 'chosen' one and i was super sensitive to it. Sounds ridiculous, the family also integrated her family into theirs and didnt do the same with mine, your post just brought it all back. It was over 20 years ago. Funnily that ex sil of mine has contacted me on Facebook! From what i read about you Lynette you loving ways will win the day, just keep trying. What Carol B says is very much what I felt. Good luck. You layout btw is stunning I love the clouds and sun!

    I hope things sort themselves out for your daughter, again with your loving ways they are bound to.

    Phew - thats a lot for me!

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  19. Don't know how I missed tis post, but I love your layout here. Praying for you and the family!

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