Thursday, March 19, 2009

School bullies

I am sitting here and I don't even know how to start this post....

I spoke to my sister, who lives in Somerset West a few hours ago. She was so upset that she was in tears. During last weekend she noticed that her oldest son, who is now in Grade 7, had many bruises all over his body. When asked about it he said that he fell a few times and that it was nothing. Yesterday my sister received a call from a mother whose daughter witnessed my nephew being attacked and beaten up during school break. The young girl was very upset by the incident and was worried whether he was alright.

My sister was in shock...she had no idea that any of this was happening. When she spoke to her son about it he started crying and told her that he is so afraid of these school bullies that he could not tell her what was happening, he was afraid that they would do something even worse to him.

What was happening was that at every school break these four bullies grabbed him as he walked out the classroom and frog marched him to a remote area in the school grounds. They would then throw him on the ground and start kicking and beating him...and this has been going on for nearly two weeks...and he was too afraid to speak out.

My sister immediately contacted the principal and he in turn contacted all the parents of the children involved in the assault. According to her, one mother sat there with a smirk on the face, full of arrogance. The principal handled it very well and the children confessed to assaulting my nephew. My sister have now sent a letter to the school and to each of the parents informing them that any further violence or intimidation by their children will result in criminal charges being laid. She also took photos of my nephew's injuries. The poor thing, he must have been so afraid to go to school every day...can you imagine?

Now I have a few questions. What makes children so violent and so insensitive to the feelings of others? What has gone so horribly wrong in our society today that child on child violence is escalating at a astounding rate? If children lack compassion and are so violent at such a young age, what are they going to do for kicks in the future? Then another question, are there not supposed to be adult supervision during breaks on the school grounds?

What do you think?


  1. I am so sorry for her... we had much the same problems with my oldest until he eventually grew big enough and he kicked back with the force of 7 years of frustration. I felt very let down by the headmaster who told him that he "misunderstood" when one of his peers threatened him with a knife.

    The question that I would love answered is "how in a 2 hour long bus trip, could the teachers not notice that alcohol was being consumed and shared amongst a group of teenagers"

  2. It is hard to put into words how I feel!!! Anger, sadness! I think it is parents letting kids raise themselves, a lack of leadership in the home! No godly influence, lack of discipline. When are people going to take child rearing serious? It affects us ALL! I do hope this incident is over once and for good. These boys are headed for prison if you ask me. :(

  3. The poor kid!
    And I feel so for your sister -
    It is horrifying to hear this stuff but it's not that new.
    My older son (now 40) experienced the same thing when he was 7 and in in Sub B (Grade 2).
    I had to plead with him for hours before he would tell me what was going on.

    I agree - there should be playground supervision organised by the school but if there isn't, maybe the parents could consider making a roster until this stuff stops

  4. Lynette, this is absolutely shocking and I think your sister and the principal has handled it very well. But I feel so bad for your nephew. I don't have children of my own, but if I sometimes see what violent dvd games the children play these days as well as watching violent movies on TV, without adult supervision, this must be contributing to making violence feel like the norm for some children ... just my thought on this. Hugs from Desire

  5. How awful! I hope things get better. I also want to know where the teachers were when this was going on. Also, could they not notice he'd been beaten afterwards?

  6. That makes me sick to my stomach. I was always one of the kids like the girl who called your sister. So scared of school fights. Maybe because my dad is a Dr., so I knew what that could lead to.
    I think the only explanation is that they see violence on TV or at home and are never told that is NOT OK! Goodness... I am so sorry. I sure hope they are leaving him alone and that he is dealing with it alright. And good for your sister for sending those letter...that was perfect! HUGS!

  7. This is just terrible. Sounds much worse in 7th grade than what we're dealing with in 1st grade. At my son's school they have 1-2 duty teachers for free time/recess and a lot of things go on that the teachers don't see. It's just not possible to watch so many kids with only a few eyes. But hopefully with this many kids being involved, your nephew's school will tighen up on watching those boys. I hope he gets thru this okay. It must have been awful for him.

  8. Oh geez. God help me if I ever end up in a situation like this. I am gobsmacked and heartbroken for this young man. The mental and physical torture not to mention the daily humiliation. I do hope your sister will consider some form of counselling to help him process this.

    Utterly abhorrent but sickenly its not an unusual state of affairs these days.

    Oy, parenting is a minefield littered with heartbreak.

  9. Obviously these kids do not have Christ in their hearts and sadly, their parents probably don't either. They are most likely acting out from a poor family life at home. That is so sad.

  10. Oh Lynette..I sit here with tears in my eyes trying to think of the right thing to say and all that comes to mind is how sad these boys must be in their own personal lives that they actually find joy in hurting someone for fun!! Honestly I don't know who I fault more...the parents or society. Society anymore has taken control of our children out of our hands. You see so much more violence now that we are not allowed to disciple our children the way we were disciplined. As a parent my child was never allowed to be disrespectful to anyone!! I guarantee that if these kids are like this now...they need lots of prayer because they are definitely heading down a road of self destruction. I will pray for the safety of your nephew as the poor boy has got to be scared to death on a daily basis wondering if any repercussion will happen. {{{hugs}}} to you sweetie!!!

  11. wow - that is shocking. Well done to that little girl who told initially, she was probably pretty scared as well. It is terrible that kids will do this to each other.

    I am not sure what I would do if this ever happened to kids of mine, but it sounds like your sister dealt with it very well.

    I hope that this was the last of it.

  12. Shocking this kind of behavior takes place at school!
    Thanks for dropping by my blog and leaving such sweet comments! I have a little something for you over there!
    Not sure what your seasons are there, but we just celebrated the first day of Spring! Hope your weekend is lovely Lynette!

  13. Oh my goodness...that is just so sad, and sickening!
    Sadly, Lynette, this behaviour is becoming the norm for our society. There is a HUGE anti-bullying movement in the school here and yet we still see it, even at Kindergarten level (my 5 year old and her friend were thrown up against a locker by two other little girls in their class).
    I think it's the violence that is evidenced in movies and games e.t.c..combined with the fact that some parents just don't take the time o teach their kids right from sad!

  14. Lynette, I am not sure why this is happening at such an alarming rate, but it is. My son who is a very soft spoken mild manner child has went through a few bullies at his school as well. I had to enroll in him in karate to learn self defense, which is really ridiculous, luckily our karate course he went to for 3 years has taught him ways to handle bullies and it has worked for him. In our situation it seemed as if the parents of the bullies were actually proud of their kids attitudes and I think it must be the home environment. In our home bullying, making fun of or hateful comments are not tolerated. My son wanted to say mean things back but I encouraged him not to, to use what karate taught him and not show anger or hate as it will then just perpetuate hate in this world. We had a good result and I am praying for a good result for your nephew and others who are bullied daily. I hate for young kids to learn such lessons, but my son seems to have grown from this and hopefully will carry the lesson on in his adulthood. I know it has taught him compassion towards others as he know firsthand how it feels to be bullied and he would NEVER treat anyone this way mentally or physically because he knows the pain, anger, humiliation and hurt it causes. I am adding your nephew and ALL those in this world who are bullied to my prayer list, lets all pray for those who bully and those who have been hurt by bullying. God bless.

  15. Lynnette, just reading your post, gives me goose bumps.. I felt bad for your nephew, I hope it won't happen again.
    The one mother whose full of arrogance, ughh! sad, I felt sad for her because someday she will reap what she saw.

  16. oh your poor nephew, I am so upset for him and his mom. I can't even begin to imagine, especially that one of the kids mom's was so unbothered by what her own son had been a part of!
    I was beat up a few times in grade 6 and I remember being so darn scared to go to school & yet too afraid to say anything to my parents, or anyone for that matter. It took someone else telling my Mom what was going on for it to stop.
    I read this post to my DH who is a HS teacher & will be principal next year. He was surprised that it had been going on for so long without being noticed by any yard supervisors.
    I will be praying for this whole situation & especially what your nephew must be going through.

  17. Wow. I am so sorry for your family. What a horrible thing to be going through! I was never physically beaten but I was emotionally beaten in elementary school. I was a chubby kid and got made fun of a lot. Unfortunately it has stayed with me my entire life. I have really bad self-esteem because of it. I honestly think those boys are mean because that is either what they see going on in their home or that is how they are treated at home. They are doing it to make themselves feel better about whatever issues they have going on. Again, I am so sorry your nephew has had to endure this!

  18. I never thought that I would say this, but I am grateful that my son is in a special needs school with small classes where there are always teachers supervising at breaktime. They even keep the different grades separated to prevent any problems. My eldest was bullied at high school, but it stopped when my mom started praying against the bullying. Short of going in their and taking justici into our own hands, I think praying is the only way to go. It astonishes me that the parents have been so gracious in giving the bullies a second chance - with restrictions of course! My hears goes out to them all!

  19. Oh my gosh! This post has my eyes filled with tears. I am so sorry for your nephew! :*( It's terrible how cruel kids can be and it's NOT EVER OKAY! :*(

  20. That is horrible! At our YG the boys get a little rambunkeous... even if they are playing, I make them stop because it's only a short time before there is too much adrenaline and it goes too far. I always say "we love here, always"


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